Well it may be unfortunate, I've finally hit a point that completely failed my real life. The details are too complicated for anyone to comprehend, and it does not matter any more. I cannot see my future, there's nothing in this life to make me excited. I enjoy programming in PHP, but unfortunately its the only thing that can make me smile nowadays. I just wish everything would come to an end eventually, but I want it to happen in a painless way since I cannot afford any more suffering. My friends could not find me a drug to close my eyes peacefully, so maybe I have to do it the hard way in the end...

The next a few days will be crucial for me to make a decision whether to continue to live the rest of my life as a failure the way it is. I do not really want anyone to read it at this point, but theres a good chance I will disappear completely from both real life and internet. It may be a reasonable assumption that my life has ended if no one sees me on my forums and this deviantart account for about a few days. Its not a done deal yet, but its getting more and more likely with time goes on.

Incase you happen to read this journal entry, please do not feel bad for me.  No one is responsible for my miserable life, I screwed it up all by myself. I still try my best to release the next version of Mysidia Adoptables before the final decision is made, but its not a guarantee. The funny thing is that the script is finally about to come into shape after all the hardwork we spent overhauling it, I really wish I could see the day it takes off.

If I cease to exist in this world, I hope Fadillzzz and Nyxi could pick up the work I left behind. I know its a bit selfish for me to ask that, but I do not want to see the script's development comes to an end just because the head developer is no longer alive. It is, after all, one of my proudest works left in this world, it may be mediocre at this moment but no one can deny its potential to become great someday...

And what else do I have to say? I am grateful that I am able to meet this many great friends and acquaintances from both real life and internet. I wish each of you would lead a happy and successful life, not to screw it up like I have. The world itself is dark, cruel and meaningless, while I am not to deny that there are awesome people everywhere.

Farewell, my shadow...